Neil has begun to invade my dreams…

I can’t get him off my mind. I dreamt last night that Neil and the American Idol top 10 stopped at my house and I played piano with Neil by my side, he kissed me…and I’m watching WIPEOUT right now, so I’m a little too distracted to write right now.

Rain, Music, and a Phone Call.

My goal today was to set up an appointment with the recruiter at the hospital for an interview. When I woke up, I watched as the rain fell outside. I checked the caller id to see if the recruiter had called, which she hadn’t. I decided to broadcast live on JTV and sing. After about four hours of singing, I finally stopped and got some lunch at about 3 PM. I put on a movie my dad had told me to watch because he thought I’d like it. I have so far found it slightly entertaining. I am still waiting for that recruiter lady to call me.

I did happen to stumble upon a cute interview of Adam Lambert. The interviewer was actually just as adorable as Adam. This interviewer’s name was Chad. He was cute, and so I left him a comment about how I’m now a Chadam fan. He apparently loved that because it made his day.

I’ve had a BORING day so far. Will it possibly become entertaining?

A little tip from me to you.

If the AC in your car breaks, I suggest getting it fixed right away or the following situation may occur:

–BASED ON TRUE EVENTS–

I was on my way to an appointment when I felt the sun beating down on me. I knew putting the windows down wasn’t going to do much good, so I didn’t bother. After about 5 minutes of driving, I was at a red light. I could feel sweat dripping down my face and neck, so I decided to just take a quick peek at my condition. When I looked in the mirror, I let out a shrill shreik that scared the people in the car next to me. I know they were scared because when I looked around, I saw them staring at me as if they had just spotted America’s Most Wanted. My face was not only glistening with sweat, it was COVERED in it. I was mortified. 20 minutes of putting on my foundation/cover-up make-up was destroyed in a matter of minutes. I was saddened by what I saw. I knew that I had just run out of my cover-up and had to go buy more at the store should I want to put more on. It was just an appointment, though…right?

WRONG.

After my appointment, I had to pick up my mother from work since her car was getting repairs done on it, and take her to the rental car place. When we got there, my face sweat-wridden and zit-spotted and hair up in a very messy bun, I found out that the guy who was serving us was HOT. I mean SMOKIN’ HOT. I tried my best to hide behind my mother, but it was no use. I handed him my licence in case I needed to use the car, he scanned it on his computer, and handed it back to my mom who then handed it to me. I was sitting down, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

We went outside to check out the rental car. It was a Volvo C30. Not the greatest car, but a family-trusted brand. I did everything I could to keep this hot guy from seeing my face. I even turned around at one point and just stared at my own car. Finally, he bid us farewell and I SHOT over to my car faster than the speed of light and drove to ULTA, the store I buy my make up at. I ended up spending $50 + on make-up. Insane and unnecessary, I know, but I felt I needed it. Besides, every girl could use a little help with her eye make-up, right?…er…

Anyway, I made it back home, safe and sound, and came inside where it was air-conditioned to perfection. I walked into my room, layed back on my bed, relaxed and blasted Sirenia on my cd-player. That’s right, I said CD player. I prefer cds over iPods, though I do have an iPod Nano and an iHome. I happen to have a 60 disc CD player, and I guess that’s why I’m partial to them. Either that or the fact that I can’t operate iPods well. It’s one or the other. I’ll leave that to your disgression.

So here I am, currently, sitting Indian-style on my couch, waiting for my mom to get out of the shower so we can eat dinner and watch tv. I promise you, my blogs will mostly be similar to this one in context. Every now and then you’ll get a picture, but this will mainly just be me going on and on about my daily life and how much it tends to suck.

Enjoy, you crazy mother fuckers.

I’m posting a lot right now, but I have nothing better to do. Forgive me.

Matty Kaz

 

This is Matt.

Matt is a crazy cat with a sense of humor that could make a statue giggle. His wit is incredible and he’s just fucking hilarious. If you aren’t privileged enough to know Matt, you must be leading a sad life. He’s an awesome dude, and he deserves to be known. Anyway, this is for you, Matt. You rock and goddamnit it’s about time you randomly showed up at my house and started partying again.

Watch out.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm always watching you.

‘Only real men wear pink’ my ass.

I’ve heard that phrase over and over, “Real men wear pink.” What a fictional statement.

Men who wear pink are not REAL men. Men who wear pink are just men who don’t want to deal with the fact that they are in the feminine closet. Any man who wears pink and wears it proudly is just looking for a way to make themself feel more manly. Men wearing pink is a form of denial. STOP WEARING PINK UNLESS YOU WANT TO ADMIT YOU’RE NOT MASCULINE. I’m sorry, but the only real men who can wear pink are men who DON’T have people going around saying “Real men wear pink!” Since too many girls are saying that around men who wear pink, I refuse to believe that any of those previously mentioned ‘Men’ are “Real Men.”

How I became addicted to Neil Lambert.

Way back in 2001, I vowed never to watch American Idol ever again when Justin Guarini lost to Kelly Clarkson because Justin is distantly related to me, and I hated Kelly for beating a family member. For the next 6 seasons of American Idol, I managed not to watch the show. I recall catching glimpses of a few episodes with my mother, then running into my room crying at how bad the contestants were. It wasn’t until after Season 8 ended that I began to regain interest in the show.

I had heard about this HUGE upset that happened on American Idol, and of course, because there was controversy, I HAD to find out what it was. So, I looked up the winner and thought ‘Wow, ok. He’s a typical winner.’ I then proceeded to find a picture of the person who was expected to win…

“HOLY FUCK HE’S HOT.”

I literally almost drooled. Adam was gorgeous. My only question at that point was “Why did he lose? Was Kris Allen a better musician?” I then looked up the KISS performance.

“OH MY CHRIST. I JUST GIZZED MYSELF.”

I had just found the man of my dreams. I had a new obsession, and it’s name was Adam Lambert.

Soon enough, the talk about his sexuality began. I decided to ignore it. After about a day, I started to question his sexuality as well. Most people questioned the Guy Liner and the Nail Polish. I was questioning the voice. His speaking voice just seemed slightly more effeminent then most men’s voices. I think that’s actually partly what attracted me to him, and because of that, his sexuality really didn’t matter that much to me.

I was doing some research on Adam to get to know him a little better when I cam across a blog called “Negative Neil.” I thought maybe this was Adam writing a blog under an alias. Then, I saw a blog about Adam. I thought to myself, I really don’t think Adam would talk about himself in third person…wait a minute…This is someone else writing about Adam! But who…

So I did a little more research and discovered that Adam had a younger brother, Neil. I read some of the blog that Neil had written and was quickly doubled over from laughter. This guy is hilarious! His intellectually-infused humor instantly reminded me of the humor of the late great George Carlin. Neil was amazing. I had been wondering what Neil might possibly look like, and I finally decided to check youtube to see if there were any videos. The first and only video I found was Neil’s 20/20 interview. The first thing you hear when playing the video is Neil’s laugh. I smiled uncontrollably as I listened to Neil talk about his brother’s sexuality. I stopped listening to his actual words and just listened to his voice. I was drawn in immediately. His voice had a quality to it that was just so seductive to me. I couldn’t understand why, but I liked it. No…I LOVED it.

And there you have it, folks. The story of how my latest obsession became my latest obsession. Thanks a lot, American Idol. Thanks.